danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”
danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”

danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.

Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”

(via brendanwtf)

“HONEY”

“WHAT”

“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”

“WHAT”

“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”

“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”

“WHAT?!”

“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”

“I NEED THEM

“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”

“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”

“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”

“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”

“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

(via dean-doyouwannagohuntmonsters)

fascinates:

people who make you feel better about yourself when you’re sad are so important 

(via dean-doyouwannagohuntmonsters)

atomicharmony:

ramsleela:

P A TR IC K MA R TI N FSUT MP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On point

(via as-you-wish-xx)